Twister

             

       Been brought up in a very typical Malay family where education plays an important role I always look high upon people who at least possessed a scroll of diploma and by having that piece of paper; then only we can survive in the real world of the future as it can help us to find a better living. Well, that is stereotyping and that was back then. Before I met him, before I met the one who changed my perception and how I see life and make me stop simply being judgmental and belittle others; just because they do not have a proper educational background. It was two years back then when I first saw him, he was just an ordinary guy with a very broad smile and he smells nice. Apparently he is somebody who is very important in my life. It is all started with a simple hi then it continued with a great smile after that came along the sweet gestures and we changed the eyes contact. Oh Lord! What is he trying to do; that was the line that came across my mind during that precious, irreplaceable moment in my life. We cannot foresee future that is a very simple reason why at that time I kind of rejected him as I do not know if he meant harm to me. But then, he asked for my phone number I did not give him at the first place simply because he was not my type; he worked at the street; slept under the tent where he legally doing his business; after all he looked like he did not have anything except for that beautiful smile he got; yes, I admit I fall for his smile at that time. After few days, I do not know what happened to me; the moment he called and asked for something that was beyond my normal thinking level, and voila! I accept him to be somebody that will in any ways I make him as someone special to me. Yes! He is the same person that I love and miss now. 

            Along the way of this whole extremely challenging two years as lovebirds, we grew our own little world which consists of me, him and us. We have a very different view when it comes to certain things in fact almost everything but normally the way I see things are way different than him. He sees the street and the people who belongs to it as those who are very independent and they know what they want because they themselves will determine where they want to go next just to crave for a food to eat; just to get some fresh air to breath; just to get a space in the heart of the society so that they will not look down on them. As for me, I used to see those people as a very disturbing view that can contaminate our eyes and they were just trouble others and they were so annoying. I learnt and in fact still learning on the real world stuffs. Though they might not have a penny in their pocket still they have the right to still live and have the fresh air in this world which belongs to every human being. He always said that by the time I was ready to accept him in my life I have to change the way I see the world; not totally change it but on few things that can touch the issue of humanity level within me. He always told me to be extra careful with my words and how I look to people who are not that good; and it happened when I have this simple argument with him about his work and I simply said that how can he made a living with me later in the future if he did not want to change his work; and with that it hurt him and I felt terrible because I know if I love him I have to accept him the way he is and if I were to tell him things like that I should know the correct and exact way to say it so that it will not hurt him, and it does apply to others as well; meaning that I cannot simply utter that kind of statement and ask others without even considering their feelings.

            The way he made me realize on how important for us to not to belittle others were so harsh, I can say, but that was the most effective way to teach people who were so stubborn, self-centered and inconsiderate like me! He changed me! Totally changed I for the better in fact even my parents and my brothers realized it. They said that I have transformed into somebody who they never knew and never met. I learned how to respect others and actually without having the proper education still you can learn lots of things from the street and from your experience; and not to forget you can still make money if you have that extra will power inside you that challenged yourself to get the way of living that you always dream of. After all, there are people who possessed a diploma even a scroll of degree they are still out there do nothing and still hoping for work to come and look for them. So, this is my story with the person who changed the way I see life and how I value humanity.

0413, my little table at 320

27^th Mar. 2011

dream .

i think bout it like every second in my life,questioning things that happened though i know it so terribly stupid for me to do that. yes, call me stupid or morone or anything that you wish; i don't have any right to say anything. after all its your mouth and you lips that you used to utter, your brain to think about the most suitable words for me hahaha :D *okayy tis is too much* 
the question will forever wandering and swimming in my brain's river and will forever there until the real perfect moment come and for that very moment to come it really needs me to be extra patient and have to have extra strength to stay on the ground;literally means to stay on the ground or else i will be somewhere out there or even on my college rooftop thinking to be a superwoman you know,testing my power to jump off the roof and really be on the ground and moment after that underground already which i hope its never gonna happen to me . okay, get back to the question . whats the use of me mumbling all alone here but nobody cares; no one even bother to care or even to just take a glimpse on whats happening to me or even to my life . *okayy,im being sarcastic here as that 'no one' here refers to that particular 'somenone' hahaha * 

the question  .. what is the question all about actually? me myself idk! seriously idk .. maybe i am too drag away with the question and thats why i ended up saying this, i mean the whole idea of me telling you this. * am i being too complicated here? haha. * 
each footsteps i take, i will be wondering ; there must be one very good solid reason on why He gives me him . *again about him! so?* and does he really L me? *got me?* hahaha :D

google's

this afternoon, sir Rohimmi brought Mr. Patrick Yeoh to our class as a guest and he's there to give us a brief overview on what Sarawakian literature all about and he as well talked about his own play which has been produced in the year of 1969 and only get a chanced to be really published by the year 1972. The play entitle 'The Need to Be' ; and what makes his story related to mine was actually when he mentioned about the dream and how he had this one thought that everybody has their own right to live their own dream. be it if he's only a beggar, still; he got his own way of dreaming and we can't simply judge his dream. So,live your dream and do anything that you to achieve it and with this i hope he will do so. i know he's a nobody but you have your own dream and i always have faith in you that someday,somehow you will achieve it my dear. 

but;
change the way you think and please believe in yourself as no one can ever really believe in you other than you yourself do so .  ilysm and will always do so . please please and please stop being cold and acting ridiculously and weirdly as it hurts . i swear its hurt tho you mite not notice it . 

mR.woobie ;)

 

*ehhh .. nak jugekk letak muke c gila ni hahahaha :D ilysm laa gila!!!! 

enaf2 ..haha :D ehh i miss mak babah 

n 

those theree monkeys at home hehe ;) 

- ehh ak ad tumblr,caye x?hahaha :D 

tdi tgahri baru tingat tett dan suda santekk cket la itu tumblr .

sile la follow hehe -

check it out!!! ;) *follow la trus* 

my wonders

kadang2 kite mmg takkan pernah sedar how important these people are in our life .. okayy,i admit .. if theres something happened to me they will going to be the first one to know .. demm ! jahat kan aku? without even realize that if diorang taw of kos its going to hurt them in any ways .. tapii i bet,bukan aku sorang je yg tlepas pandang bende2 ceni (ke mmang aku je yg jahat? T.T) okayy ..meh nak tanye .. kalaw korang demam,sape dulu taw .. die atau mereka? kalaw kua nak p jalan2 n suping2,sape dulu taw ..die atau mereka? nak p mkan? nak tdo? xnak p clas? haa .. sape3? see .. mmang die dulu kann .. ishh .. aku ni sbenarnye homesick sob sob sob tu yg tbe2 trase cam alahaiii pentingnye ade mak babah dalam hidup nii .. okayy ! fine .. over sangat .. so? 
hurmm .. how i wish aku kt umah sekarang .. ngadap tv bsame mereka T.T buat air untuk babah .. dga mak sembang2 dan dga bunyik mesin jahit die tu T.T i seriously wanna go home! T.T mann .. i hate this laa .. 
 i miss them .. seriously .. fuhh ! things get tougher than what i had imagined T.T mannn .. i miss mak babah .. seriously ..

backbones :)

babah,mak .. siyesli .. been missing u guys a lot these few days T.T 
kakak nak mak babah T.T 

  
 

no title .

haa bukan nak cakap ape la kann hahaha tp ttw la nak cakap ape hurmm tibe2 macam saket sgt hati nii haa sebab ... ehh tayah la nk cite kt cni, tp bear in mind this has nothing to do wit mR.woobie okayy? he's good tho there are few things happened here and there hehe 

( ehh kecoh kan? mcm mR.woobie bagos sgt! haha so? mesia kan ni? free country? klw ad orang bole babi2kan aku freely, tkkan aku nk cite lbeyh sikett tabole kot? hahaha :D )

so .. basically .. itu sahaje yg ingin aku katekan utk mlm inii ..

saket hati .. dan ape eak .. urmm yess .. maw batu dikasi batu bole? ;) tayah sume laa .. siket je aku nakk .. okayy? 

(finee sume orang xfham ape aku cakap;eh aku ttaw la cane nak cakap ni haa )

ehh dah2 laa mira oii hahaha

let it be .. 

yes .. let it be ..

let it be

let the bee

let the bee be like the bee

let the bee be free like other bee

so that the bee will not be the bee that don't know he was actually a bee 

haa .. ahahaha :D 

im still undone

-fullstop-

bee ;) 

kebenarannye

okayy ..nice to see nice to hold,once broken considered sold :)

ape kene mengene ntahh haha :D 

okayy2 ..

weekend aritu i spent half of my sat and sun wit mak babah arep afiq *miss si bolatt menchikk hehe*

kmudiann .. acu,k.ana, gudboys -eykal and adekk hehe

xdilupekan juge .. ude,k.mija,abglong dan jugekk c comeyy widad auni :)

arghh xckup la weekend tuu .. nak balekk T.T

yea .. yea .. yea .. call me homesick ke hape ke da mmg aku rindu umahh ..so what?? haha :D

saye rindu adek2 saye T.T

1. muhammad ariff mohd mustaffa

2. muhammad afiq mohd mustaffa

3. muhammad muizzuddin mohd mustaffa

walaupunn maseng2 itu mmpunyai prangai yang only-God-knows-how tetapi still

air yg dicincang takkan putus kan? :)

demmm .. i really miss themm like hell!!!!!

 rindu nak gather ramai2 then sit in front of the tv kt umah then tgk movie sambil mrepek2 then kutuk2 the actors and actresses hehe

pstu gado2 lagi ni sbb of kos la boys kann nak tgkk sports ..

aku nii .. mmg x la kann!!! hahaha :D

pastu xmsuk lgi gado gn babah plax ..

oke he and all his movies channels hehe

da tgk jutaan puluhan ribuan kalian pon tetappp nak tgk jugekk :)

mann .. saye nak balik umahh ..

haa rindu nak gado gn mak ..

sembang mrapu2 .. pstu ajak mak p pasar malam .. pstu window shopping kt pekan hehe

nak balekkk ..nak balekk ..

yup .. betol orang cakap .. dekat2 bau busuk, da jauh2 ni bau wangi *ehh bole ke gune ni? haha 

ahh wuteva but the main point is ..

bile da jauh ceni baru la rase sayang sgt kt adek2 ..klw depan mate bukanla xsayang tp mang amek xkesah je .. xamek port .. ye r,dorang tu laki .. motif sgt aku nk tnjuk kaseh sayang seorang kakak kt dorang hahaha xcool laa :p

dorang tu lagi laa .. makk aihh ! kalaw x melawan xsahh .. ad sajeeee yg xkene,yg nak didebatkan heshh saba je la aku ni .. kate kakak kann ahhaha 

kesabaran itu adalah hak milikk seorang kakak hehe

alaa dorang tu ponn of kos la sayang aku .. aku taw hehe

*ceitt tayah la korang nak deny that statement ye hahahaha

hurmm .. rinduu laa mereka2 itu T.T

okee aku sentimental dan emosi 

muhammad ariff

muhammad afiq

 

 

 

muhammad muizzuddin 

  

ehh mR.woobie jugek saye rindu sangat *ehh nak jugekk kau!

 mariii berjumpe minggu inii heee ;)

marii2 ..haha :D

ilysm :)

 

 

 

ehh ..ilysm laaa GILE!!! *sighs*

after 1 year 10 month together things that i got tonyte will be 

all the nanges2 and no pujuk2 one .. hell yeahh!!

plis laa somebody .. orang salu ckap kan, nak faham pompuan tu susa

but in my case i shall say yg aku ni nk fham die yg susa!! mcam haremmm ..

okayy for one whole there goes the perang dingin and what not .. bla bla bla

sampai la ke mlm .. then .. all the off fon part ..

then .. sent me a msg saying sorry (like duh?! aku jgak yg salah at the end of the day? centu?)

motif anta msg : konon rase bsalah 

after 2.30 am ..

text me again .. da smpai katenye (motif?!)

ahh .. i dun give a damn ko sampai ke x ..like i care!!!

yg aku nak tw sgt amat knape kau dingin macam gampang sgt gn aku?

okayy ni alasann die ..

"saje suke2 ..saje nak carik pasal.."

anyone?? 

try be in my shoes .. apekah anda rase? *sighs*

fishhh !!! haa .. aku da rase cm nk mnyumpah je tadi ...

tapi as usual .. xdan aku nak kuakan kate2 hikmat aku die da tibai aku mcam pkai machine gun!!

fish u again!!! hurmm ..

sampai bile tahh ..

ya Allah ya Tuhanku ..

sesunggunya Kau kurniakan lah aku kesabaran yg paling tinggi dan paling tebal sekali didalam hati dan diriku ..kerana sesungguhnya ketidaksabaran itu bole membawa kepada perasaan marah yg dipengaruhi syaitan yg direjam dan ia adalah perkara yg paling ingin aku elakkan ..

Amin .

untuk kau yg bergelar LELAKI ITU :

1. saye bukan robot .

2. saye ni bukan adek2 awakk .

3. saye ni bukan punching bag awakk .

4. for once and for God sake, puhhhhlissss appreciate me and try to understand me

A BIT!!!!!!

(hurmm wat meletih merepek kt sini .. as if die bother utk bace .. xpon!)

 

if only ... he realizes T.T

bahulu oren .

kadang2 bile telampau sgt nak menjage hati sume org sure ad jugak hati yang akan terluka ..to whom it may concern, mungkin ad slah silap saye kt mane2 yg saye xsedar tapi klaw xd orang ckap mmg smpai bile la saye takkan taw .. tapi tape, kini saye taw la tmpat saye :) deal? tenks ya for all those precious moments we spent together .. tho its just for a short period of time still .. good to know you ;)

hurmm .. in my previous post, i did mention about me being so tired of all the things that happened and now idk why .. its getting even way far from what i expected; i mean the tiredness T.T demm ..
too many things yet so little time .. nyway .. hahahaha on monday aritu chewah2 haha
saye telah spent whole day dgn mr. woobie ..lagikk hahaha :D ehh ad hal oke die dtg pon :p p putrajaya sbb ad hal nk kene settle .. and so here the story goes ;)

pagi itu p putrajaya . sampai sane trus p amek bende2 mR.woobie . then went to alamanda . makan2 time. then jalan2 sat . pastu tbe2 nak p tgk his dad kt cheras sbb die baru je kua hospital . then sembang2 jap ap sume kt sane . selepas itu trus pule drive ke uma aunty die . oke, aku blaja wat bahulu oren kaseh sayang haha ehh jadik oke! hahaha tapiii mR.woobie ni xhabes2 komplen aje kejenye . tapi mkn tetap :)

then dinner pule kemudian baru la he sent me back to upm . and as usual . hurmm 

been missing him all over again (okee kau mengade! tiap minggu dtg,xckup?)

oke .. itu indah kan? i mean xd gado2 .. now the gado part :p

haa .. time kt cheras,aku tnye bout all those gurls in his life yg pnah n yg bru die nk contact or wut so eva la kann .. n he said 

"DA TAKDE DA .. SUME DA SETTLE DA, JANJI TAKDE APE2 LAGI DA PASNI.. DA TAKDE ORG KCAW DA"

 so? any say? xpe2 .. aku jawab sendiri . dgn hati terbuka aku percaya as sifu aku cakap kene percaya kat die sbb die da janji xwat lagi n so i believe him :)

and hopefully yg lepas tu let it be that and only that T.T

(ehh xgado sgt ea? haa .. klw ad vid aku hupload da kasik tgk .. hahaha ) 

enche .. saye da penat da nak pk mcm2 .. ckup2 la segale d cni .. saye penat da ..

sile jgn kasik saye sakit hati dan dgn tololnye enche tipu saye ..

saye da pecayekan enche nii .. 

(haa mahap le, ak mang bengap edit2 haha) 

mine

hopefully our plan will be according to what we have planned . amin :) 

ilysm enche ahmad rizuan 

-mira mustaffa-