hope on my caldina ! :)

Dec 1, 2011

berhentilah mendesak aku .

untuk semua yg aku sayangi,


menghilangnya aku bukanlah kerana sesiapa , percayalah ada sebab yg mendesak aku untuk melakukan ini . berhentilah mengasak kedua -dua insan yg aku sayangi itu dgn soalan mengenai aku . mereka juga tidak tahu menahu tentang hal ini . sabarlah semua , aku akan balik cuma bukan sekarang . satu yg pasti , aku berada di tempat yg selamat dan ramai umat di sini . aku tidak bersendirian . 


jangan mendesak aku untuk melakukan perkara yg paling aku xingini . janganlah layan aku seperti seorang penjenayah yg melakukan kesalahan membunuh atau apa sahaja yg boleh membuatku bergelar penjenayah . makin didesak , makin jauh aku akan lari . bukanlah ugutan yg cuba aku lemparkan tapi tolong fahami aku . jangan mendesak , jangan lemparkan soalan yg bertubi2 dan bertalu2 . aku tiada jawapan untuk semua itu . 


mak babah , kakak sygkan mak babah . terlalu syg , janganlah sekali2 fikir yg mak babah bukan insan penting dlm hidup kakak . penting , terlalu penting . ada sebab kenapa kakak menjadi terlalu secretive dalam hal ini . Tuhan je yg tahu betapa kakak rindukan mak babah . rindukan adik2 . bersabarlah semua . manusia ini akan pulang suatu hari nanti . 


bersabarlah semua . 




terribly sorry . its me , not you .
image by google

Nov 30, 2011

keserabutan itu aku . eh . hahahaha

ikot hati mati . haa tu laa , betul tu . mak salu cakap dulu , jgn ikot hati sgt kakak . but demm ! knon2 rebel kan ; dlm hati time tu " ahh! suke aku nak wt ape pon . da besa da kot " . knon2 mak tu xhidup kt zaman kite skrg , the so-called zaman modern n new era . hell yeahh! bullshit laa . 
tu laa , now . da terhantuk baru nk tengadah * betul ke?* tapi ...


sampai bile nak jdik hipokrit ? i mean , jadik tersangat amat baek in front of others tapi belakang2 kau laa paleng setan sekali ? ishh , kite x kan selamanya bole nk satisfy kan hati setiap manusia yg ade dalam hidup kite . am i rite ? penat jugak ni , bile sume yg aku wat kene pk dulu pulak . sat g die ni kate ceni , alaa nnti die ni kecik ati . ishh kang yg die ni pk mcm laen pulak , then aku ? 


kehendak , hati , dan segalanya yg berkaitan dgn aku ? sape pulak nak jage ? diorang ade amek kesah ke ? mcm xje ? hurmm .


time susa , ni lagi satu . time senang sume dtg rapat je , bak kate mak sanggup nak jilat punggung habehh ! tapi time kite susa ? yg duk mai tu bole kate ceni , " aku saje je nak tgk die tu susa. padan muke!" kau x pk ke time kau susa , laki kau susa , dulu2 kau carik sape ? haa . bammm ! padan muke ! MUKE X MALU LA KAU NI ! XSEDAR DIRI ! KADUK NAEK JUNJUNG !


ishh , aku xnak jaik hipokrit mcm tu anymore . i mean bukanlah part yg time susa lupe org , part yg depan2 baek tpi belakang mengata . baek bogel la wey ! yg xtahu ape2 sume termakan dgn imej wanita muslimah yg ditonjolkan olehnya . 


yes , aku mmg jahat . n to be honest da penat da nak jadik hipokrit here n there . depan2 baek , belakon ! belakang2 mak aihhh bukan maen lagi mengata . lupe terus kau tu haji ke hajjah ke ape ke sume lupe dahh ! sedap wat ketupat ! pastu kat side lagi satu kau buat2 mcm xtahu menahu lgsung . BODOH! sume tu karut ! at the end of the day , org akan still mengata kau . org akan mule spread rumors yg ntahh mane2 dorang bole dpt theory tu . bak kate anuar zain , pemikiran yg shallow dan kebelakang itu mendorong manusia membuat dan berfikir sedemikian . hahahaha 


* maafla entry tis time a bit emo n xtntu arah . aku serabut nak mati now . hope sume2 faham ape yg aku try nak sampaikan hurmm *


ehh x kaetan gn org dlm gambau ni hahaha :))
*google*

Nov 24, 2011

kata yang tak terlafaz .

assalamualaikum wbt.
been a while since last updated this blog. busy with my life n few stuffs. 
yes . my life n few stuffs . da mule x minat nk pk psal life sndri, tunggang langgang . salah sndri n now am trying hard to fix it . susa nk fahamkan org ap yg kite try utk buat sbb sgt3 amat siket org yg betul2 nk faham kite . family? can they really accept things that we did? understand us? entah . not saying that they didnt, its just ... hard to say . things got even more complicated now . lost in the middle of somewhere *sighs* . fixing things that had already fell into pieces is not an easy things to do, not like fixing a broken watch n etc . its about rewinding the clock and undo the unnecessarily 'events' and trying hard to put the right things back into their places *sighs* . xbaek mengeluh tapi tu je yg mampu keluar untuk mase sekarang ni . memang, betul la orang tua2 cakap . time muda ni , sume bende yg kite buat da rase mcm betul sangat da, siket2 nak rebel . tapi kalau xbuat salah dan setiap benda pon kene betul all the time, bila nak belajar sndiri? am i right? setiap manusia buat silap dan salah dan mereka bangun semula dengan belajar dari setiap kesilapan dan kesalahan tersebut . penat kalau life asek nak diatur and ditentukan . yes , benda tu sangat bagus and aku tau ade sebab diorang buat benda tu . but then , penat jgak diri ni kalau aku sntiasa diwajibkan utk portray benda2 yg baek n aku di'forbid' atau diharamkan utk buat jahat ataupun benda2 yg xbetul . aku gagal jadik yg sempurna dan mengikut acuan yg mereka inginkan . aku terlalu sayangkan 2 manusia yg dah bagi aku peluang utk bernafas n lead a very happy life on earth . of kos laa , sape x sayang mak babah . dorang provie everything yg aku perlukan , from A to Z ! *u named it!* tapi im so sorry aku fail untuk fulfill keinginan diorang . aku x perfect , aku xboleh jadik perfect . ni , aku cube sedaye upaye untuk fix balek every single thing dan aku mengharapkan diorang betul2 faham and terima ape yg aku buat untuk sekali ni . aku betul2 merayu dan mengharapkan itu . yes , aku xcall x sms tapi bermaksud aku xingat . 24hours ingat mak babah and adik2 tapi sabarlah semua , and tolong aku dgn doakan aku sihat , selamat and berjaya fix dan settlekan segalanya . aku da banyak susahkan mak babah , and now let me do it myself . babah , kakak sayangkan babah . mak , kakak sayangkan mak . terlalu sayangkan anda berdua tapi kakak mintak ampun maaf sebab terpaksa lakukan ini . 

Aug 14, 2011

updates.

wow haha da besawang da haa ! hahaha :))
well , been bz *xpon*
xde mende nak dirapukan .
so? adekah anda sehat? saye?
sehat aje . hahaha
lately, byk saket hati makan hati berendam air mate
well aku kan mmg emosi . tett .
alaa suda2 la mira , bukan org nk dgr cite kau kan3?
so , da 2 weeks kite puase ni kan 
i still dunnoe raye ni balek mane
babah said nak balek melake *yeayy!*
mak kate nak stay gerik .
ehh ttwlaa , st g aku ni raye je kt kl abes la cite agaknye
bia mak je yg dtg hehe
klw dlu2 time arwah atok dgn nenek ade lagi mmg best la
sbb meriah siket pagi2 raye
skrg ni klw balek melake pon mcm ttw nak p mane
lost ! orang laen ade atok nenek nak salam pagi raye
aku? T.T
well , i do miss them 
like hell
nenek , atok and my babah :)

*Al-Fatihah*
tapi nak wat cane , orang2 yang baek lebih dsayangi oleh-Nya .
:)
tho atok da dekat 10 tahun tinggalkan kami , still the smell of his tobacco lingers around my nose.
while nenek pulak da almost 5 years but still , her voice kept resounds in my head .
hurmm 
yes 
i do miss them .

oke tata .
started to cry oredy !
demm hahaha

faces that i love the most 


Apr 20, 2011

waiting .

Everything
In my sky at dawn you are the sunrise,
Your steamy eyes and enticing smile,
Stay, the way I love them,
You are mine! Yes! You are mine!

Still be mine no matter what,
The love of my life you are the one,
Thick and thin we’ll make it together,
My soul will die if you’re not here.

Till death do us apart will be the chant,
I’ll hold that words until the end,
Leave me not, leave you never,
With the beating heart we’ll stay stronger.

Imagining me all dressed in white,
Me wondering if you are my Mr. Right,
After a moment ‘yes’ comes to my mind,
And I know everything will be fine.

over x? haha :D actually that will be one of my assignments for the critical app class whre er hve to create our own poems based on the themes given . da submit da so bajet cm sedap so post la dcni hehe ;) of course, once reading u will know what will be the theme rite? as simple and easy as abc and 123 :) of course its bout him laaa . haha :D *da xde org laen ke? kemarok beno gn c gile tu? hahaha :D*
just for an update, currently at his uncle's hehe n being sembang2 bout the day hahahaha :D  

Mar 28, 2011

Twister

             
       Been brought up in a very typical Malay family where education plays an important role I always look high upon people who at least possessed a scroll of diploma and by having that piece of paper; then only we can survive in the real world of the future as it can help us to find a better living. Well, that is stereotyping and that was back then. Before I met him, before I met the one who changed my perception and how I see life and make me stop simply being judgmental and belittle others; just because they do not have a proper educational background. It was two years back then when I first saw him, he was just an ordinary guy with a very broad smile and he smells nice. Apparently he is somebody who is very important in my life. It is all started with a simple hi then it continued with a great smile after that came along the sweet gestures and we changed the eyes contact. Oh Lord! What is he trying to do; that was the line that came across my mind during that precious, irreplaceable moment in my life. We cannot foresee future that is a very simple reason why at that time I kind of rejected him as I do not know if he meant harm to me. But then, he asked for my phone number I did not give him at the first place simply because he was not my type; he worked at the street; slept under the tent where he legally doing his business; after all he looked like he did not have anything except for that beautiful smile he got; yes, I admit I fall for his smile at that time. After few days, I do not know what happened to me; the moment he called and asked for something that was beyond my normal thinking level, and voila! I accept him to be somebody that will in any ways I make him as someone special to me. Yes! He is the same person that I love and miss now. 
            Along the way of this whole extremely challenging two years as lovebirds, we grew our own little world which consists of me, him and us. We have a very different view when it comes to certain things in fact almost everything but normally the way I see things are way different than him. He sees the street and the people who belongs to it as those who are very independent and they know what they want because they themselves will determine where they want to go next just to crave for a food to eat; just to get some fresh air to breath; just to get a space in the heart of the society so that they will not look down on them. As for me, I used to see those people as a very disturbing view that can contaminate our eyes and they were just trouble others and they were so annoying. I learnt and in fact still learning on the real world stuffs. Though they might not have a penny in their pocket still they have the right to still live and have the fresh air in this world which belongs to every human being. He always said that by the time I was ready to accept him in my life I have to change the way I see the world; not totally change it but on few things that can touch the issue of humanity level within me. He always told me to be extra careful with my words and how I look to people who are not that good; and it happened when I have this simple argument with him about his work and I simply said that how can he made a living with me later in the future if he did not want to change his work; and with that it hurt him and I felt terrible because I know if I love him I have to accept him the way he is and if I were to tell him things like that I should know the correct and exact way to say it so that it will not hurt him, and it does apply to others as well; meaning that I cannot simply utter that kind of statement and ask others without even considering their feelings.
            The way he made me realize on how important for us to not to belittle others were so harsh, I can say, but that was the most effective way to teach people who were so stubborn, self-centered and inconsiderate like me! He changed me! Totally changed I for the better in fact even my parents and my brothers realized it. They said that I have transformed into somebody who they never knew and never met. I learned how to respect others and actually without having the proper education still you can learn lots of things from the street and from your experience; and not to forget you can still make money if you have that extra will power inside you that challenged yourself to get the way of living that you always dream of. After all, there are people who possessed a diploma even a scroll of degree they are still out there do nothing and still hoping for work to come and look for them. So, this is my story with the person who changed the way I see life and how I value humanity.
0413, my little table at 320
27th Mar. 2011





Mar 25, 2011

dream .

i think bout it like every second in my life,questioning things that happened though i know it so terribly stupid for me to do that. yes, call me stupid or morone or anything that you wish; i don't have any right to say anything. after all its your mouth and you lips that you used to utter, your brain to think about the most suitable words for me hahaha :D *okayy tis is too much* 
the question will forever wandering and swimming in my brain's river and will forever there until the real perfect moment come and for that very moment to come it really needs me to be extra patient and have to have extra strength to stay on the ground;literally means to stay on the ground or else i will be somewhere out there or even on my college rooftop thinking to be a superwoman you know,testing my power to jump off the roof and really be on the ground and moment after that underground already which i hope its never gonna happen to me . okay, get back to the question . whats the use of me mumbling all alone here but nobody cares; no one even bother to care or even to just take a glimpse on whats happening to me or even to my life . *okayy,im being sarcastic here as that 'no one' here refers to that particular 'somenone' hahaha * 

the question  .. what is the question all about actually? me myself idk! seriously idk .. maybe i am too drag away with the question and thats why i ended up saying this, i mean the whole idea of me telling you this. * am i being too complicated here? haha. * 
each footsteps i take, i will be wondering ; there must be one very good solid reason on why He gives me him . *again about him! so?* and does he really L me? *got me?* hahaha :D

google's


this afternoon, sir Rohimmi brought Mr. Patrick Yeoh to our class as a guest and he's there to give us a brief overview on what Sarawakian literature all about and he as well talked about his own play which has been produced in the year of 1969 and only get a chanced to be really published by the year 1972. The play entitle 'The Need to Be' ; and what makes his story related to mine was actually when he mentioned about the dream and how he had this one thought that everybody has their own right to live their own dream. be it if he's only a beggar, still; he got his own way of dreaming and we can't simply judge his dream. So,live your dream and do anything that you to achieve it and with this i hope he will do so. i know he's a nobody but you have your own dream and i always have faith in you that someday,somehow you will achieve it my dear. 
but;
change the way you think and please believe in yourself as no one can ever really believe in you other than you yourself do so .  ilysm and will always do so . please please and please stop being cold and acting ridiculously and weirdly as it hurts . i swear its hurt tho you mite not notice it . 

mR.woobie ;)
 

*ehhh .. nak jugekk letak muke c gila ni hahahaha :D ilysm laa gila!!!! 

enaf2 ..haha :D ehh i miss mak babah 
those theree monkeys at home hehe ;) 

- ehh ak ad tumblr,caye x?hahaha :D 
tdi tgahri baru tingat tett dan suda santekk cket la itu tumblr .
sile la follow hehe -

Mar 13, 2011

my wonders

kadang2 kite mmg takkan pernah sedar how important these people are in our life .. okayy,i admit .. if theres something happened to me they will going to be the first one to know .. demm ! jahat kan aku? without even realize that if diorang taw of kos its going to hurt them in any ways .. tapii i bet,bukan aku sorang je yg tlepas pandang bende2 ceni (ke mmang aku je yg jahat? T.T) okayy ..meh nak tanye .. kalaw korang demam,sape dulu taw .. die atau mereka? kalaw kua nak p jalan2 n suping2,sape dulu taw ..die atau mereka? nak p mkan? nak tdo? xnak p clas? haa .. sape3? see .. mmang die dulu kann .. ishh .. aku ni sbenarnye homesick sob sob sob tu yg tbe2 trase cam alahaiii pentingnye ade mak babah dalam hidup nii .. okayy ! fine .. over sangat .. so? 
hurmm .. how i wish aku kt umah sekarang .. ngadap tv bsame mereka T.T buat air untuk babah .. dga mak sembang2 dan dga bunyik mesin jahit die tu T.T i seriously wanna go home! T.T mann .. i hate this laa .. 
 i miss them .. seriously .. fuhh ! things get tougher than what i had imagined T.T mannn .. i miss mak babah .. seriously ..

backbones :)
babah,mak .. siyesli .. been missing u guys a lot these few days T.T 
kakak nak mak babah T.T 

  
 

Mar 9, 2011

no title .

haa bukan nak cakap ape la kann hahaha tp ttw la nak cakap ape hurmm tibe2 macam saket sgt hati nii haa sebab ... ehh tayah la nk cite kt cni, tp bear in mind this has nothing to do wit mR.woobie okayy? he's good tho there are few things happened here and there hehe 
( ehh kecoh kan? mcm mR.woobie bagos sgt! haha so? mesia kan ni? free country? klw ad orang bole babi2kan aku freely, tkkan aku nk cite lbeyh sikett tabole kot? hahaha :D )
so .. basically .. itu sahaje yg ingin aku katekan utk mlm inii ..
saket hati .. dan ape eak .. urmm yess .. maw batu dikasi batu bole? ;) tayah sume laa .. siket je aku nakk .. okayy? 
(finee sume orang xfham ape aku cakap;eh aku ttaw la cane nak cakap ni haa )
ehh dah2 laa mira oii hahaha

let it be .. 

yes .. let it be ..

let it be
let the bee
let the bee be like the bee
let the bee be free like other bee
so that the bee will not be the bee that don't know he was actually a bee 

haa .. ahahaha :D 


im still undone

-fullstop-
bee ;) 

Mar 8, 2011

kebenarannye

okayy ..nice to see nice to hold,once broken considered sold :)
ape kene mengene ntahh haha :D 
okayy2 ..
weekend aritu i spent half of my sat and sun wit mak babah arep afiq *miss si bolatt menchikk hehe*
kmudiann .. acu,k.ana, gudboys -eykal and adekk hehe
xdilupekan juge .. ude,k.mija,abglong dan jugekk c comeyy widad auni :)
arghh xckup la weekend tuu .. nak balekk T.T
yea .. yea .. yea .. call me homesick ke hape ke da mmg aku rindu umahh ..so what?? haha :D
saye rindu adek2 saye T.T

1. muhammad ariff mohd mustaffa
2. muhammad afiq mohd mustaffa
3. muhammad muizzuddin mohd mustaffa

walaupunn maseng2 itu mmpunyai prangai yang only-God-knows-how tetapi still
air yg dicincang takkan putus kan? :)
demmm .. i really miss themm like hell!!!!!
 rindu nak gather ramai2 then sit in front of the tv kt umah then tgk movie sambil mrepek2 then kutuk2 the actors and actresses hehe
pstu gado2 lagi ni sbb of kos la boys kann nak tgkk sports ..
aku nii .. mmg x la kann!!! hahaha :D
pastu xmsuk lgi gado gn babah plax ..
oke he and all his movies channels hehe
da tgk jutaan puluhan ribuan kalian pon tetappp nak tgk jugekk :)
mann .. saye nak balik umahh ..
haa rindu nak gado gn mak ..
sembang mrapu2 .. pstu ajak mak p pasar malam .. pstu window shopping kt pekan hehe
nak balekkk ..nak balekk ..

yup .. betol orang cakap .. dekat2 bau busuk, da jauh2 ni bau wangi *ehh bole ke gune ni? haha 
ahh wuteva but the main point is ..
bile da jauh ceni baru la rase sayang sgt kt adek2 ..klw depan mate bukanla xsayang tp mang amek xkesah je .. xamek port .. ye r,dorang tu laki .. motif sgt aku nk tnjuk kaseh sayang seorang kakak kt dorang hahaha xcool laa :p
dorang tu lagi laa .. makk aihh ! kalaw x melawan xsahh .. ad sajeeee yg xkene,yg nak didebatkan heshh saba je la aku ni .. kate kakak kann ahhaha 
kesabaran itu adalah hak milikk seorang kakak hehe
alaa dorang tu ponn of kos la sayang aku .. aku taw hehe
*ceitt tayah la korang nak deny that statement ye hahahaha
hurmm .. rinduu laa mereka2 itu T.T
okee aku sentimental dan emosi 

muhammad ariff

muhammad afiq   
muhammad muizzuddin 
  
ehh mR.woobie jugek saye rindu sangat *ehh nak jugekk kau!
 mariii berjumpe minggu inii heee ;)
marii2 ..haha :D

ilysm :) 





 
 

Mar 5, 2011

ehh ..ilysm laaa GILE!!! *sighs*

after 1 year 10 month together things that i got tonyte will be 
all the nanges2 and no pujuk2 one .. hell yeahh!!
plis laa somebody .. orang salu ckap kan, nak faham pompuan tu susa
but in my case i shall say yg aku ni nk fham die yg susa!! mcam haremmm ..
okayy for one whole there goes the perang dingin and what not .. bla bla bla
sampai la ke mlm .. then .. all the off fon part ..
then .. sent me a msg saying sorry (like duh?! aku jgak yg salah at the end of the day? centu?)
motif anta msg : konon rase bsalah 
after 2.30 am ..
text me again .. da smpai katenye (motif?!)
ahh .. i dun give a damn ko sampai ke x ..like i care!!!
yg aku nak tw sgt amat knape kau dingin macam gampang sgt gn aku?
okayy ni alasann die ..


"saje suke2 ..saje nak carik pasal.."

anyone?? 
try be in my shoes .. apekah anda rase? *sighs*

fishhh !!! haa .. aku da rase cm nk mnyumpah je tadi ...
tapi as usual .. xdan aku nak kuakan kate2 hikmat aku die da tibai aku mcam pkai machine gun!!
fish u again!!! hurmm ..

sampai bile tahh ..

ya Allah ya Tuhanku ..
sesunggunya Kau kurniakan lah aku kesabaran yg paling tinggi dan paling tebal sekali didalam hati dan diriku ..kerana sesungguhnya ketidaksabaran itu bole membawa kepada perasaan marah yg dipengaruhi syaitan yg direjam dan ia adalah perkara yg paling ingin aku elakkan ..
Amin .


untuk kau yg bergelar LELAKI ITU :

1. saye bukan robot .
2. saye ni bukan adek2 awakk .
3. saye ni bukan punching bag awakk .
4. for once and for God sake, puhhhhlissss appreciate me and try to understand me
A BIT!!!!!!

(hurmm wat meletih merepek kt sini .. as if die bother utk bace .. xpon!)


 
if only ... he realizes T.T

Mar 2, 2011

bahulu oren .

kadang2 bile telampau sgt nak menjage hati sume org sure ad jugak hati yang akan terluka ..to whom it may concern, mungkin ad slah silap saye kt mane2 yg saye xsedar tapi klaw xd orang ckap mmg smpai bile la saye takkan taw .. tapi tape, kini saye taw la tmpat saye :) deal? tenks ya for all those precious moments we spent together .. tho its just for a short period of time still .. good to know you ;)

hurmm .. in my previous post, i did mention about me being so tired of all the things that happened and now idk why .. its getting even way far from what i expected; i mean the tiredness T.T demm ..
too many things yet so little time .. nyway .. hahahaha on monday aritu chewah2 haha
saye telah spent whole day dgn mr. woobie ..lagikk hahaha :D ehh ad hal oke die dtg pon :p p putrajaya sbb ad hal nk kene settle .. and so here the story goes ;)

pagi itu p putrajaya . sampai sane trus p amek bende2 mR.woobie . then went to alamanda . makan2 time. then jalan2 sat . pastu tbe2 nak p tgk his dad kt cheras sbb die baru je kua hospital . then sembang2 jap ap sume kt sane . selepas itu trus pule drive ke uma aunty die . oke, aku blaja wat bahulu oren kaseh sayang haha ehh jadik oke! hahaha tapiii mR.woobie ni xhabes2 komplen aje kejenye . tapi mkn tetap :)
then dinner pule kemudian baru la he sent me back to upm . and as usual . hurmm 
been missing him all over again (okee kau mengade! tiap minggu dtg,xckup?)
oke .. itu indah kan? i mean xd gado2 .. now the gado part :p

haa .. time kt cheras,aku tnye bout all those gurls in his life yg pnah n yg bru die nk contact or wut so eva la kann .. n he said 
"DA TAKDE DA .. SUME DA SETTLE DA, JANJI TAKDE APE2 LAGI DA PASNI.. DA TAKDE ORG KCAW DA"
 so? any say? xpe2 .. aku jawab sendiri . dgn hati terbuka aku percaya as sifu aku cakap kene percaya kat die sbb die da janji xwat lagi n so i believe him :)
and hopefully yg lepas tu let it be that and only that T.T
(ehh xgado sgt ea? haa .. klw ad vid aku hupload da kasik tgk .. hahaha ) 

enche .. saye da penat da nak pk mcm2 .. ckup2 la segale d cni .. saye penat da ..
sile jgn kasik saye sakit hati dan dgn tololnye enche tipu saye ..
saye da pecayekan enche nii .. 
(haa mahap le, ak mang bengap edit2 haha) 

mine



hopefully our plan will be according to what we have planned . amin :) 
ilysm enche ahmad rizuan 
-mira mustaffa- 

Feb 28, 2011

penat .

aku taw past is past n yg pnting skrang ..tapi aku ni tetap manusie biase n bear in mind aku pompuan .. salah ke aku klw ad cket doubt kt kau? bkan aku tlalu nak pertikaikan 'loyalty' kau tu tapii ..sndri mau igt sbb sape yg wt aku rase mcm ni? awal2 lagi aku da penah ckap BE HONEST ! jgn sesekali kau crik psal dgn aku lagikk dgn kau mnipu aku .. aku benci .. aku benci time kau mnipu .. dan org yg tlibat dgn pnipuan tu .. sape2 yg trase tu,yes kau! kau laa! tayah sebok2 pndang kri kanan.. kau yg aku benci sgt! da awal2 kau ckap dgn aku kau da xde ape2 dgn die,tp knape? kau gatal sgt col die lagikk? kau miang? pk2 laa sndri prasaan org laen ..oke? ehh aku ni bkan la saje nk crite hal rumah tangge dan crite dlm kaen aku kt org lua tpi,dah klw aku nk try slowtalk pon payah ..this is the onle medium yg ade la ..maaf klw ad sape2 yg tasuke dgn ape yg ak ckapkan ..atau ad sape2 yg trase hati,tapi i believe that in Malaysia, we have the right to voice out whatever that we think in need.. jadik,salah ke? x kan? yes ..thanks sbb mengiakan ape yg aku ckap :)
ehh ..ntahhlaa ..smpai bile ..aku da try utk jadik sepositive habes,sgale mcm bnde da aku wt utk pk positve psal kau.. tapi kau? tiap kali dgn aku,ade aje perkare pelik terjadi? WTF? WTH? kau igt aku ni ap? patung bodo yg slamenye diam dan xbckap ape2 kalaupun bnde tu da terang2 ad dpan mate dan ianye berlaku btul2 dpan mate aku dan ketika itu fon kau kt tgn aku? kau nk kasik alasan ape? shut up! ta payah explain ..
sayang ..yes,aku sayang kau ..tpi kau?ikhlas ke stiap kali kau ckap sayang? knape kau masih dgn aku klw kbhagiaan yg kau nak tu ade dgn org laen kt lua sane? bkan aku xkasik kau kwn dgn org laen ..yes be it pmpuan skali pun sbb aku jugak kt sni ad kwn lelaki ..tp,kwn ape yg cal kau smpai 6-7 kali? kwan ap yg col pkul 1-2 am? utk ape? utk ape? utk ape? yes ..ta payah explain ..
dan utk wanita2 berkenaan .. ehh nti nk kawen kan? jage suami maseng2 .. takut nti jadik n kene kt btg hidung sndri ..skian .. ape? aku jahat mulut? mmg ..so? kau nk doakan aku xbhgia? silekan ..Tuhan xmkbulkan doa yg xbaikk :)
ehh mcam2 sgt da aku simpan sndri . sbb sikap yg suke bdiam diri dan bia org pijak kpale smpai buat aku jadik mcm ni. terus2an diperlakukan sebegini rupe . aku diam xbermakne aku bisu . aku senyum xbermakne aku gembire. aku ketawa xbermakne aku suke .dan aku menangis bukan brmaksud xberdaya.
cume ..
MALAS .
MALAS ..
malas utk amek kesah dan begado atas perkare2 yg remeh dan ntah hape2 .. kepale otak aku da ckup srabut pk kan segale hal yg da jadik kt aku. stress .aku stress . tension . org xfham .org xkan penah fham .dan kau? manusie yg aku rase bole fham aku pon,xamek pusing pasal hal aku . ye,kau pun ade msalah kau sndri.tp,klw aku ad utk kau stiap kali masalah tu serabutkan kau; mane kau bile aku nk mtak kau dga aku menangis? mana kau bile aku mtak kau dgar aku mengadu? suda . sampai bile .
tahap sabar aku ade batasnye . aku bukan setabah aisyah, sekuat fatimah dan semulia siti khadijah. tak ..aku manusie biase yg bole hlang kesbarannye walau dlm usaha utk sntiase bsabar. i've had enaf. selagi aku bole utk menguatkan diri dan trus mengingatkan diri bahawe kesudahan yg baek adalah utk manusie yg besabar; aku akan trus menerus sebegini. tapi ..
bile sampai tahap kesabaran aku itu semakin rapuh
bile sampai tahap kesabaran aku itu hampir hilang
bile sampai tahap kesabaran aku itu kian pudar
maafkan aku klw tpakse melakukan itu.
aku da ckup mkan hati. sampai bile? sampai bile? sampai bile?
kau ubah aku sampai aku jadik begini.
kau jadikan aku wanita penyabar yg dulunya panas baran dan cpat hlang kewarasan akal fikiran dgn melakukan sesuatu tanpa bfikir dahulu .. terlalu terburu2 ..
thanks .
tapi ..
yg kau ajarkan itu bakal memakan diri kau .diri aku .
kerana ape?
kerana sikap kau sendri yg suke buat xtahu .dgn beranggapan aku xbisa melawan .
xpe. aku oke .selagi mulut terdaya berkata oke .
aku oke . walau hati menafikan ape yg mulut tuturkan.
aku oke.
dan sentiase begitu.
aku oke.
walau hingga mata terpejam.
aku oke.
yes .
aku oke .
utk kau,teruskan sikap kau yg bgitu
selagi aku ada dpan mata,kau xkan bljar mghargai aku .
-aku- 
 

Feb 26, 2011

mR.woobie ;)

hahaha memandangkan sekian lame la kan x hupdate ini belog hahaha jdik d cni sye mydiekan bberapa soklan yg anda juge bole copy ye hahaha :D


nyway ..been spending past 3 days gn mR.woobie ..hehe mann ..
dgn mak babah skali .. dsamping uncle n aunty die dan jugekk adek2 die hahaha :D
hurmm ..ges wut .. it went well :)
ehh suda2 hahaha
meh2 tgk ap di bwah nii ..
:)




1. What was the highlight of your week?

- get my 'things' done n jmpe mR.woobie :)



2. Whose car were you in last?
- babah


3. When is the next time you will kiss someone?

-MAYBE next week :p



4. What color shirt are you wearing?
-pink :p


5. How long is your hair?
- shoulder length,or mybe longer haha


6. Are you good looking?

-am not :)

7. Last movie you watched?
-ntahh ..faster i ges ..wit my roomies :)


8. Who were you with?
- rite now? k.yusra :)


9. Last thing you ate?
- nasi ayam sweet sour hehe


10. Last thing you drank?
- nes ice .. mann!! incredibly deliii ..


11. When was the last time you had your heart broken?
- emm .. last 2 years i ges ?


12. Who came over last?
- ehh ..hehe mR.woobie :)


13. Are you happy right now?
- YUP ;)


14. What did you say last?
- hahaha muat ke?

15. Where is your phone?
-rite in front of me ..


16. What color are your eyes?
- black :)


17. Are you left-handed?
-nope ..right handed ..


18. Spell your name without vowels:
- st mrh mhd mstff

19. Do you have any pets?
-NO! hahaha saye takut bnatang hahaha

20. Favorite Vacation?
- emm ..


21. What do you dislike currently?
- hurmm .. that particular PONDAN! salu mnyorok bakang pompuan :) sekian!


22. What are you listening to?
- sound of the ceiling fan haha


23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
-flying to kepong and kiss my mR.woobie! demmmm .. bole x? hahaha


24. What is your favorite scent?
- babah's and mR.woobie's <3


25. Who makes you happiest?
- mR.woobie and of kos mak babah plus 3 musketeers hahaha

26. What were you doing at midnight last night?
- watching tv with mR.woobie at his uncle's


27. When is your birthday?
- 6th september 1989


28. Who has the same phone as you?
- ntahh ..ttaw la plax haha


29. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
- haa bbrape thun yg lalu hahaha


30. Do you read your horoscope?
- not anymore ..


31. Where was the last place you bought something?
- watson selayang mall


32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
- i hate it hahaha


33. Do you bite your nails?
- sumtimess yess ..


34. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
- nope


35. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
- nope!!!


36. Myspace or facebook?
- fb :) deleted my ms accnt

37. How fast have you driven a car?
- hahaha 140 kmph jee ..


38. Have you ever smoked?
-errrr ..


39. What was or is your favorite subject in school?
-english


40. Do you have Verizon?
- come again?? hahahaha :p


41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
- bad boy .. hahaha mR.woobie will always be the one :)


42. Do you have any hidden talents?
- i can sing i can cook hahaha


43. Favorite Song?
- i live my life for you by firehouse


44. Do you like to sing at all?
- yup3 hehehe of kosss laa kann hahahaha


45. Dream Job?
- an officer at any gov dept hahahaha :D


46. Where does most of your family live?
- perak i ges


47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
- only daughter wit three craziest buddies ever hehe


48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
- urmm ..sumtimes i ges ..hahaha


49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
- what? can it b who? hahaha mR.woobie will b for who ..as for what is betape mlasnye ak nk ke clas mann!!!


50. Do you drink?
- yes .. nescafe hahaha


51. Know any other languages?
- french and arabic :)


52. Ever write a coded message?
- naaaahhh hahahaha :D


53. Have you ever been IN a wedding?
- u mean? da penah kawen ke? hahaha :D i take it as a yes la ea,since u that IN words is in capital letter hehe so, not yet :p


54. Do you have any children?
- yes hahaha


55. Did you take a nap today?
- nap? yes a 5 hours nap hahaha :D


56. Who has the same birthday as you?
- my ex-skulmate .. nur hana sabri


57. Ever met anyone famous before?
- alaa few singers and actors and actresses


58. Do you want to be famous one day?
- haha yes :)


59. Any Pet Peeves?
- come again?


60. Are you multitasking right now?
- yes .. i can sing while typing .. i can talking while sms-ing hahaha


61. Do you like Britany Spears?
- NOPE!


62. What is your least favorite chore?
- hahaha basuh baju!!! demm .. lipat baju tape hehe tp kdang mlas jgak .. da klw bju smpai berbakol2 .. hamekk kau!! mang sengal la pnggang ak nk lipat byk2 hahahaha :D


63. Last place you drove your car?
- shalam ..


64. Ever been out of the country?
- not yet ..soon :)


65. Where were you born?
- hospital besar ipoh,perak hehe


66. Could you handle being in the military?
- yes i ges ..alaa plkn pon cm army la jgak kan hehe


67. What is your average cell phone bill?
- haa nk kre ke? hahaha klw shari sploh hengget? sbulann? 30 hati kan soo kre sndri laa hahaha


68. Who are you thinking about right now?
-mR.woobie n org2 di umah T_T


69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
- just now hahaha tgk penguin mesia hahahaha


70. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
- 5 pairs :)


71. Are your toes always painted?
-nope ..


72. How many piercings do you have?
- 4 ..


73. What are you doing today?
- hurmm ..spending half of my day wit mR.woobie then ..here i am back in upm again heshh


74. Have you ever been gambling?
- no .


75. When is the last time you updated your page?
- ntahh .. last wik i ges??


76. Do you like rollercoasters?
- as if kopok rollercoaster? yess hahahaha


77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world?
- not yett ..


78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
- spongebob hehe


79. Last thing you cooked?
- hurmm ..ntahh .. ap eakk .. lupe da hahahaha


80. How's the weather?
- dingin


81. Do you e-mail?
- yup :) i doo .. hee


82. What's the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
- dlu la kann .. fon dlu hehe penah baling ke dinding hahaha too mad at mR.woobie hahaha bodo kann :p


83. Last time you were sick?
- sekarang .


84. What states have you lived in?
- perak and malacca


85. Do you wish you could move?
- no :) happy wit whre i live rite now :)


86. Do you take all the QuizPox.com quizzes?
- nooo..


87. What is your dream car?
- nothing in mind yet hahaha


88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have?
- yes ..once ..dlu ..bfore i met mR.woobie


89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
- rite beside mR.woobie


90. Are you happy with your life?
- yes ..as he lives here ..inside me :)


enche ..ilysm <3 need u by my side ..
ILYSM !!!! IMYSM!!!!! sob sob sob 




happiness will come and sit softly on your shoulder once you stop chasing it .
-mira mustaffa- 
 

Feb 18, 2011

plain

           one .. two .. three .. lalala .. hurmm .. 

Love is a very divine things that will happened to every living things in this world; especially us which is the love between the mankind. There are lots of stories that can be heard when it comes to love. So, here I will now reveal the story of me and my love one. It might not be special to you or even anyone else but it is precious to me. Okay, here is how it began.
I was born in Perak, I lived there for only 6 years before I had been transferred to Malacca to live with my grandparents. I spent most of my days and years in Malacca staying with them. Until I reached the age of twenty, my father who is a teacher has been asked to move to Perak and work there. That is the moment when my life has actually fated to turn this way. After two weeks I stayed in my grandmother’s house in Kg. Air Panas; a very small kampung in a very small area in Gerik, Perak; I met him. I know he is no superman, no Mr. Perfect and no Mr. Knows-Everything.  He is just an ordinary guy that I met and I fall in love with. He has nothing if I were to compare him with anyone else's love of the life. I know he always be the laughing stock of all my friends because he is just an ordinary guy with no educational background like theirs and he has no large amount of money to buy me things like theirs did and I know they were actually make a fool out of his work; he is just a guy that do business in ‘Pasar Malam’. But then there is something about him that makes him very special to me and he is my one of a kind type of boy. To be honest, at the first stage of our relationship, I actually expect nothing from him as I always think that I can get someone way better than him; but then after day by day and time passes by my love for him grow even deeper and stronger. I have started to ‘search’ for him if he is not texting or calling me. I will started be extra worried whenever he is doing his job because he can always find someone else too that can 24/7 be around him. We are one of the million couples who experienced the long distance relationship.
            The first time I met him, I thought he was younger than me because he is smaller than me as I am kind of plus-size. It was in his lot where he does his job when he intentionally followed me from behind just to get a chance to say hi to me and asked for my phone number. Surprisingly, I didn’t even bother because I am afraid that he might want to rob me or whatever that a guy can do towards a girl – not to say I am being prejudice because he came from ‘that’ place. Until at one point I really felt insecure when he kept following me no matter where I go, I stopped and ask him what did he wanted from me and he said he just wanted to know me and that’s it. He insisted to have my phone number and I gave him mine. From that moment we had been texting each other and call each other for almost every day until he said that he felt like we can make it to the next level. After all the thinking and asking for opinion process had been done, I called him and say yes. At that very moment I was hoping for him to really turn out and be somebody that I can respect and love with all my heart. I know how important the educational background of a guy is a very important subject to both my mum and my dad and I know very well how my mum really pay more attention on his family background and what he did for living and how  much he earn; but then I always believe that everything that we have in this world really came from Him. I know I am not being rationale here but then try to think about it even further, it is the fact that all of us should know. 
            What makes him very special to me is because he always teaches me things that I cannot get from the books, things that I cannot get from the class, things that cannot be browse from the internet solely. He teaches me things that he learned from his own life, his own hardship to survive in this world and how he manages to take care of his brothers. Though he is the third out of ten, still he is the one that have to do everything because his older brother always have that couldn’t care less attitude. That is the thing that I always adore because he is very responsible and I know he can be a good father to my children and he can be my guidance. There are few things that the two of us need to brush up on in order for us to make things work and be even happier in the future and we are moving towards that thing. I always asked my mother upon her opinion about him, being a mother she always said that if I am happy it means her happiness as well but I know deep down inside her she was expecting someone else. That is the reason I am trying hard and actually me and him, we are trying hard to prove her that it’s the other way round.
            So, no matter what others said about him, no matter what people might think about him, others perception about me being with him and many more; I will still love him until the end of time. This is no fairy tale, no Cinderella, no Snow White, no Rapunzel; this is my story with an ordinary boy living an ordinary life with a very extra ordinary love life. Might sound cliché and it is so not be in a real world but then this is my story and him. Feel free to be our judges and charge us if any of you find us guilty for having each other as our soul-mate. I shall plead on behalf of him and I know he will definitely do so on behalf of me. Do pray for us so that we can stay even stronger and longer.

Dec 1, 2011

berhentilah mendesak aku .

untuk semua yg aku sayangi,


menghilangnya aku bukanlah kerana sesiapa , percayalah ada sebab yg mendesak aku untuk melakukan ini . berhentilah mengasak kedua -dua insan yg aku sayangi itu dgn soalan mengenai aku . mereka juga tidak tahu menahu tentang hal ini . sabarlah semua , aku akan balik cuma bukan sekarang . satu yg pasti , aku berada di tempat yg selamat dan ramai umat di sini . aku tidak bersendirian . 


jangan mendesak aku untuk melakukan perkara yg paling aku xingini . janganlah layan aku seperti seorang penjenayah yg melakukan kesalahan membunuh atau apa sahaja yg boleh membuatku bergelar penjenayah . makin didesak , makin jauh aku akan lari . bukanlah ugutan yg cuba aku lemparkan tapi tolong fahami aku . jangan mendesak , jangan lemparkan soalan yg bertubi2 dan bertalu2 . aku tiada jawapan untuk semua itu . 


mak babah , kakak sygkan mak babah . terlalu syg , janganlah sekali2 fikir yg mak babah bukan insan penting dlm hidup kakak . penting , terlalu penting . ada sebab kenapa kakak menjadi terlalu secretive dalam hal ini . Tuhan je yg tahu betapa kakak rindukan mak babah . rindukan adik2 . bersabarlah semua . manusia ini akan pulang suatu hari nanti . 


bersabarlah semua . 




terribly sorry . its me , not you .
image by google

Nov 30, 2011

keserabutan itu aku . eh . hahahaha

ikot hati mati . haa tu laa , betul tu . mak salu cakap dulu , jgn ikot hati sgt kakak . but demm ! knon2 rebel kan ; dlm hati time tu " ahh! suke aku nak wt ape pon . da besa da kot " . knon2 mak tu xhidup kt zaman kite skrg , the so-called zaman modern n new era . hell yeahh! bullshit laa . 
tu laa , now . da terhantuk baru nk tengadah * betul ke?* tapi ...


sampai bile nak jdik hipokrit ? i mean , jadik tersangat amat baek in front of others tapi belakang2 kau laa paleng setan sekali ? ishh , kite x kan selamanya bole nk satisfy kan hati setiap manusia yg ade dalam hidup kite . am i rite ? penat jugak ni , bile sume yg aku wat kene pk dulu pulak . sat g die ni kate ceni , alaa nnti die ni kecik ati . ishh kang yg die ni pk mcm laen pulak , then aku ? 


kehendak , hati , dan segalanya yg berkaitan dgn aku ? sape pulak nak jage ? diorang ade amek kesah ke ? mcm xje ? hurmm .


time susa , ni lagi satu . time senang sume dtg rapat je , bak kate mak sanggup nak jilat punggung habehh ! tapi time kite susa ? yg duk mai tu bole kate ceni , " aku saje je nak tgk die tu susa. padan muke!" kau x pk ke time kau susa , laki kau susa , dulu2 kau carik sape ? haa . bammm ! padan muke ! MUKE X MALU LA KAU NI ! XSEDAR DIRI ! KADUK NAEK JUNJUNG !


ishh , aku xnak jaik hipokrit mcm tu anymore . i mean bukanlah part yg time susa lupe org , part yg depan2 baek tpi belakang mengata . baek bogel la wey ! yg xtahu ape2 sume termakan dgn imej wanita muslimah yg ditonjolkan olehnya . 


yes , aku mmg jahat . n to be honest da penat da nak jadik hipokrit here n there . depan2 baek , belakon ! belakang2 mak aihhh bukan maen lagi mengata . lupe terus kau tu haji ke hajjah ke ape ke sume lupe dahh ! sedap wat ketupat ! pastu kat side lagi satu kau buat2 mcm xtahu menahu lgsung . BODOH! sume tu karut ! at the end of the day , org akan still mengata kau . org akan mule spread rumors yg ntahh mane2 dorang bole dpt theory tu . bak kate anuar zain , pemikiran yg shallow dan kebelakang itu mendorong manusia membuat dan berfikir sedemikian . hahahaha 


* maafla entry tis time a bit emo n xtntu arah . aku serabut nak mati now . hope sume2 faham ape yg aku try nak sampaikan hurmm *


ehh x kaetan gn org dlm gambau ni hahaha :))
*google*

Nov 24, 2011

kata yang tak terlafaz .

assalamualaikum wbt.
been a while since last updated this blog. busy with my life n few stuffs. 
yes . my life n few stuffs . da mule x minat nk pk psal life sndri, tunggang langgang . salah sndri n now am trying hard to fix it . susa nk fahamkan org ap yg kite try utk buat sbb sgt3 amat siket org yg betul2 nk faham kite . family? can they really accept things that we did? understand us? entah . not saying that they didnt, its just ... hard to say . things got even more complicated now . lost in the middle of somewhere *sighs* . fixing things that had already fell into pieces is not an easy things to do, not like fixing a broken watch n etc . its about rewinding the clock and undo the unnecessarily 'events' and trying hard to put the right things back into their places *sighs* . xbaek mengeluh tapi tu je yg mampu keluar untuk mase sekarang ni . memang, betul la orang tua2 cakap . time muda ni , sume bende yg kite buat da rase mcm betul sangat da, siket2 nak rebel . tapi kalau xbuat salah dan setiap benda pon kene betul all the time, bila nak belajar sndiri? am i right? setiap manusia buat silap dan salah dan mereka bangun semula dengan belajar dari setiap kesilapan dan kesalahan tersebut . penat kalau life asek nak diatur and ditentukan . yes , benda tu sangat bagus and aku tau ade sebab diorang buat benda tu . but then , penat jgak diri ni kalau aku sntiasa diwajibkan utk portray benda2 yg baek n aku di'forbid' atau diharamkan utk buat jahat ataupun benda2 yg xbetul . aku gagal jadik yg sempurna dan mengikut acuan yg mereka inginkan . aku terlalu sayangkan 2 manusia yg dah bagi aku peluang utk bernafas n lead a very happy life on earth . of kos laa , sape x sayang mak babah . dorang provie everything yg aku perlukan , from A to Z ! *u named it!* tapi im so sorry aku fail untuk fulfill keinginan diorang . aku x perfect , aku xboleh jadik perfect . ni , aku cube sedaye upaye untuk fix balek every single thing dan aku mengharapkan diorang betul2 faham and terima ape yg aku buat untuk sekali ni . aku betul2 merayu dan mengharapkan itu . yes , aku xcall x sms tapi bermaksud aku xingat . 24hours ingat mak babah and adik2 tapi sabarlah semua , and tolong aku dgn doakan aku sihat , selamat and berjaya fix dan settlekan segalanya . aku da banyak susahkan mak babah , and now let me do it myself . babah , kakak sayangkan babah . mak , kakak sayangkan mak . terlalu sayangkan anda berdua tapi kakak mintak ampun maaf sebab terpaksa lakukan ini . 

Aug 14, 2011

updates.

wow haha da besawang da haa ! hahaha :))
well , been bz *xpon*
xde mende nak dirapukan .
so? adekah anda sehat? saye?
sehat aje . hahaha
lately, byk saket hati makan hati berendam air mate
well aku kan mmg emosi . tett .
alaa suda2 la mira , bukan org nk dgr cite kau kan3?
so , da 2 weeks kite puase ni kan 
i still dunnoe raye ni balek mane
babah said nak balek melake *yeayy!*
mak kate nak stay gerik .
ehh ttwlaa , st g aku ni raye je kt kl abes la cite agaknye
bia mak je yg dtg hehe
klw dlu2 time arwah atok dgn nenek ade lagi mmg best la
sbb meriah siket pagi2 raye
skrg ni klw balek melake pon mcm ttw nak p mane
lost ! orang laen ade atok nenek nak salam pagi raye
aku? T.T
well , i do miss them 
like hell
nenek , atok and my babah :)

*Al-Fatihah*
tapi nak wat cane , orang2 yang baek lebih dsayangi oleh-Nya .
:)
tho atok da dekat 10 tahun tinggalkan kami , still the smell of his tobacco lingers around my nose.
while nenek pulak da almost 5 years but still , her voice kept resounds in my head .
hurmm 
yes 
i do miss them .

oke tata .
started to cry oredy !
demm hahaha

faces that i love the most 


Apr 20, 2011

waiting .

Everything
In my sky at dawn you are the sunrise,
Your steamy eyes and enticing smile,
Stay, the way I love them,
You are mine! Yes! You are mine!

Still be mine no matter what,
The love of my life you are the one,
Thick and thin we’ll make it together,
My soul will die if you’re not here.

Till death do us apart will be the chant,
I’ll hold that words until the end,
Leave me not, leave you never,
With the beating heart we’ll stay stronger.

Imagining me all dressed in white,
Me wondering if you are my Mr. Right,
After a moment ‘yes’ comes to my mind,
And I know everything will be fine.

over x? haha :D actually that will be one of my assignments for the critical app class whre er hve to create our own poems based on the themes given . da submit da so bajet cm sedap so post la dcni hehe ;) of course, once reading u will know what will be the theme rite? as simple and easy as abc and 123 :) of course its bout him laaa . haha :D *da xde org laen ke? kemarok beno gn c gile tu? hahaha :D*
just for an update, currently at his uncle's hehe n being sembang2 bout the day hahahaha :D  

Mar 28, 2011

Twister

             
       Been brought up in a very typical Malay family where education plays an important role I always look high upon people who at least possessed a scroll of diploma and by having that piece of paper; then only we can survive in the real world of the future as it can help us to find a better living. Well, that is stereotyping and that was back then. Before I met him, before I met the one who changed my perception and how I see life and make me stop simply being judgmental and belittle others; just because they do not have a proper educational background. It was two years back then when I first saw him, he was just an ordinary guy with a very broad smile and he smells nice. Apparently he is somebody who is very important in my life. It is all started with a simple hi then it continued with a great smile after that came along the sweet gestures and we changed the eyes contact. Oh Lord! What is he trying to do; that was the line that came across my mind during that precious, irreplaceable moment in my life. We cannot foresee future that is a very simple reason why at that time I kind of rejected him as I do not know if he meant harm to me. But then, he asked for my phone number I did not give him at the first place simply because he was not my type; he worked at the street; slept under the tent where he legally doing his business; after all he looked like he did not have anything except for that beautiful smile he got; yes, I admit I fall for his smile at that time. After few days, I do not know what happened to me; the moment he called and asked for something that was beyond my normal thinking level, and voila! I accept him to be somebody that will in any ways I make him as someone special to me. Yes! He is the same person that I love and miss now. 
            Along the way of this whole extremely challenging two years as lovebirds, we grew our own little world which consists of me, him and us. We have a very different view when it comes to certain things in fact almost everything but normally the way I see things are way different than him. He sees the street and the people who belongs to it as those who are very independent and they know what they want because they themselves will determine where they want to go next just to crave for a food to eat; just to get some fresh air to breath; just to get a space in the heart of the society so that they will not look down on them. As for me, I used to see those people as a very disturbing view that can contaminate our eyes and they were just trouble others and they were so annoying. I learnt and in fact still learning on the real world stuffs. Though they might not have a penny in their pocket still they have the right to still live and have the fresh air in this world which belongs to every human being. He always said that by the time I was ready to accept him in my life I have to change the way I see the world; not totally change it but on few things that can touch the issue of humanity level within me. He always told me to be extra careful with my words and how I look to people who are not that good; and it happened when I have this simple argument with him about his work and I simply said that how can he made a living with me later in the future if he did not want to change his work; and with that it hurt him and I felt terrible because I know if I love him I have to accept him the way he is and if I were to tell him things like that I should know the correct and exact way to say it so that it will not hurt him, and it does apply to others as well; meaning that I cannot simply utter that kind of statement and ask others without even considering their feelings.
            The way he made me realize on how important for us to not to belittle others were so harsh, I can say, but that was the most effective way to teach people who were so stubborn, self-centered and inconsiderate like me! He changed me! Totally changed I for the better in fact even my parents and my brothers realized it. They said that I have transformed into somebody who they never knew and never met. I learned how to respect others and actually without having the proper education still you can learn lots of things from the street and from your experience; and not to forget you can still make money if you have that extra will power inside you that challenged yourself to get the way of living that you always dream of. After all, there are people who possessed a diploma even a scroll of degree they are still out there do nothing and still hoping for work to come and look for them. So, this is my story with the person who changed the way I see life and how I value humanity.
0413, my little table at 320
27th Mar. 2011





Mar 25, 2011

dream .

i think bout it like every second in my life,questioning things that happened though i know it so terribly stupid for me to do that. yes, call me stupid or morone or anything that you wish; i don't have any right to say anything. after all its your mouth and you lips that you used to utter, your brain to think about the most suitable words for me hahaha :D *okayy tis is too much* 
the question will forever wandering and swimming in my brain's river and will forever there until the real perfect moment come and for that very moment to come it really needs me to be extra patient and have to have extra strength to stay on the ground;literally means to stay on the ground or else i will be somewhere out there or even on my college rooftop thinking to be a superwoman you know,testing my power to jump off the roof and really be on the ground and moment after that underground already which i hope its never gonna happen to me . okay, get back to the question . whats the use of me mumbling all alone here but nobody cares; no one even bother to care or even to just take a glimpse on whats happening to me or even to my life . *okayy,im being sarcastic here as that 'no one' here refers to that particular 'somenone' hahaha * 

the question  .. what is the question all about actually? me myself idk! seriously idk .. maybe i am too drag away with the question and thats why i ended up saying this, i mean the whole idea of me telling you this. * am i being too complicated here? haha. * 
each footsteps i take, i will be wondering ; there must be one very good solid reason on why He gives me him . *again about him! so?* and does he really L me? *got me?* hahaha :D

google's


this afternoon, sir Rohimmi brought Mr. Patrick Yeoh to our class as a guest and he's there to give us a brief overview on what Sarawakian literature all about and he as well talked about his own play which has been produced in the year of 1969 and only get a chanced to be really published by the year 1972. The play entitle 'The Need to Be' ; and what makes his story related to mine was actually when he mentioned about the dream and how he had this one thought that everybody has their own right to live their own dream. be it if he's only a beggar, still; he got his own way of dreaming and we can't simply judge his dream. So,live your dream and do anything that you to achieve it and with this i hope he will do so. i know he's a nobody but you have your own dream and i always have faith in you that someday,somehow you will achieve it my dear. 
but;
change the way you think and please believe in yourself as no one can ever really believe in you other than you yourself do so .  ilysm and will always do so . please please and please stop being cold and acting ridiculously and weirdly as it hurts . i swear its hurt tho you mite not notice it . 

mR.woobie ;)
 

*ehhh .. nak jugekk letak muke c gila ni hahahaha :D ilysm laa gila!!!! 

enaf2 ..haha :D ehh i miss mak babah 
those theree monkeys at home hehe ;) 

- ehh ak ad tumblr,caye x?hahaha :D 
tdi tgahri baru tingat tett dan suda santekk cket la itu tumblr .
sile la follow hehe -

Mar 13, 2011

my wonders

kadang2 kite mmg takkan pernah sedar how important these people are in our life .. okayy,i admit .. if theres something happened to me they will going to be the first one to know .. demm ! jahat kan aku? without even realize that if diorang taw of kos its going to hurt them in any ways .. tapii i bet,bukan aku sorang je yg tlepas pandang bende2 ceni (ke mmang aku je yg jahat? T.T) okayy ..meh nak tanye .. kalaw korang demam,sape dulu taw .. die atau mereka? kalaw kua nak p jalan2 n suping2,sape dulu taw ..die atau mereka? nak p mkan? nak tdo? xnak p clas? haa .. sape3? see .. mmang die dulu kann .. ishh .. aku ni sbenarnye homesick sob sob sob tu yg tbe2 trase cam alahaiii pentingnye ade mak babah dalam hidup nii .. okayy ! fine .. over sangat .. so? 
hurmm .. how i wish aku kt umah sekarang .. ngadap tv bsame mereka T.T buat air untuk babah .. dga mak sembang2 dan dga bunyik mesin jahit die tu T.T i seriously wanna go home! T.T mann .. i hate this laa .. 
 i miss them .. seriously .. fuhh ! things get tougher than what i had imagined T.T mannn .. i miss mak babah .. seriously ..

backbones :)
babah,mak .. siyesli .. been missing u guys a lot these few days T.T 
kakak nak mak babah T.T 

  
 

Mar 9, 2011

no title .

haa bukan nak cakap ape la kann hahaha tp ttw la nak cakap ape hurmm tibe2 macam saket sgt hati nii haa sebab ... ehh tayah la nk cite kt cni, tp bear in mind this has nothing to do wit mR.woobie okayy? he's good tho there are few things happened here and there hehe 
( ehh kecoh kan? mcm mR.woobie bagos sgt! haha so? mesia kan ni? free country? klw ad orang bole babi2kan aku freely, tkkan aku nk cite lbeyh sikett tabole kot? hahaha :D )
so .. basically .. itu sahaje yg ingin aku katekan utk mlm inii ..
saket hati .. dan ape eak .. urmm yess .. maw batu dikasi batu bole? ;) tayah sume laa .. siket je aku nakk .. okayy? 
(finee sume orang xfham ape aku cakap;eh aku ttaw la cane nak cakap ni haa )
ehh dah2 laa mira oii hahaha

let it be .. 

yes .. let it be ..

let it be
let the bee
let the bee be like the bee
let the bee be free like other bee
so that the bee will not be the bee that don't know he was actually a bee 

haa .. ahahaha :D 


im still undone

-fullstop-
bee ;) 

Mar 8, 2011

kebenarannye

okayy ..nice to see nice to hold,once broken considered sold :)
ape kene mengene ntahh haha :D 
okayy2 ..
weekend aritu i spent half of my sat and sun wit mak babah arep afiq *miss si bolatt menchikk hehe*
kmudiann .. acu,k.ana, gudboys -eykal and adekk hehe
xdilupekan juge .. ude,k.mija,abglong dan jugekk c comeyy widad auni :)
arghh xckup la weekend tuu .. nak balekk T.T
yea .. yea .. yea .. call me homesick ke hape ke da mmg aku rindu umahh ..so what?? haha :D
saye rindu adek2 saye T.T

1. muhammad ariff mohd mustaffa
2. muhammad afiq mohd mustaffa
3. muhammad muizzuddin mohd mustaffa

walaupunn maseng2 itu mmpunyai prangai yang only-God-knows-how tetapi still
air yg dicincang takkan putus kan? :)
demmm .. i really miss themm like hell!!!!!
 rindu nak gather ramai2 then sit in front of the tv kt umah then tgk movie sambil mrepek2 then kutuk2 the actors and actresses hehe
pstu gado2 lagi ni sbb of kos la boys kann nak tgkk sports ..
aku nii .. mmg x la kann!!! hahaha :D
pastu xmsuk lgi gado gn babah plax ..
oke he and all his movies channels hehe
da tgk jutaan puluhan ribuan kalian pon tetappp nak tgk jugekk :)
mann .. saye nak balik umahh ..
haa rindu nak gado gn mak ..
sembang mrapu2 .. pstu ajak mak p pasar malam .. pstu window shopping kt pekan hehe
nak balekkk ..nak balekk ..

yup .. betol orang cakap .. dekat2 bau busuk, da jauh2 ni bau wangi *ehh bole ke gune ni? haha 
ahh wuteva but the main point is ..
bile da jauh ceni baru la rase sayang sgt kt adek2 ..klw depan mate bukanla xsayang tp mang amek xkesah je .. xamek port .. ye r,dorang tu laki .. motif sgt aku nk tnjuk kaseh sayang seorang kakak kt dorang hahaha xcool laa :p
dorang tu lagi laa .. makk aihh ! kalaw x melawan xsahh .. ad sajeeee yg xkene,yg nak didebatkan heshh saba je la aku ni .. kate kakak kann ahhaha 
kesabaran itu adalah hak milikk seorang kakak hehe
alaa dorang tu ponn of kos la sayang aku .. aku taw hehe
*ceitt tayah la korang nak deny that statement ye hahahaha
hurmm .. rinduu laa mereka2 itu T.T
okee aku sentimental dan emosi 

muhammad ariff

muhammad afiq   
muhammad muizzuddin 
  
ehh mR.woobie jugek saye rindu sangat *ehh nak jugekk kau!
 mariii berjumpe minggu inii heee ;)
marii2 ..haha :D

ilysm :) 





 
 

Mar 5, 2011

ehh ..ilysm laaa GILE!!! *sighs*

after 1 year 10 month together things that i got tonyte will be 
all the nanges2 and no pujuk2 one .. hell yeahh!!
plis laa somebody .. orang salu ckap kan, nak faham pompuan tu susa
but in my case i shall say yg aku ni nk fham die yg susa!! mcam haremmm ..
okayy for one whole there goes the perang dingin and what not .. bla bla bla
sampai la ke mlm .. then .. all the off fon part ..
then .. sent me a msg saying sorry (like duh?! aku jgak yg salah at the end of the day? centu?)
motif anta msg : konon rase bsalah 
after 2.30 am ..
text me again .. da smpai katenye (motif?!)
ahh .. i dun give a damn ko sampai ke x ..like i care!!!
yg aku nak tw sgt amat knape kau dingin macam gampang sgt gn aku?
okayy ni alasann die ..


"saje suke2 ..saje nak carik pasal.."

anyone?? 
try be in my shoes .. apekah anda rase? *sighs*

fishhh !!! haa .. aku da rase cm nk mnyumpah je tadi ...
tapi as usual .. xdan aku nak kuakan kate2 hikmat aku die da tibai aku mcam pkai machine gun!!
fish u again!!! hurmm ..

sampai bile tahh ..

ya Allah ya Tuhanku ..
sesunggunya Kau kurniakan lah aku kesabaran yg paling tinggi dan paling tebal sekali didalam hati dan diriku ..kerana sesungguhnya ketidaksabaran itu bole membawa kepada perasaan marah yg dipengaruhi syaitan yg direjam dan ia adalah perkara yg paling ingin aku elakkan ..
Amin .


untuk kau yg bergelar LELAKI ITU :

1. saye bukan robot .
2. saye ni bukan adek2 awakk .
3. saye ni bukan punching bag awakk .
4. for once and for God sake, puhhhhlissss appreciate me and try to understand me
A BIT!!!!!!

(hurmm wat meletih merepek kt sini .. as if die bother utk bace .. xpon!)


 
if only ... he realizes T.T

Mar 2, 2011

bahulu oren .

kadang2 bile telampau sgt nak menjage hati sume org sure ad jugak hati yang akan terluka ..to whom it may concern, mungkin ad slah silap saye kt mane2 yg saye xsedar tapi klaw xd orang ckap mmg smpai bile la saye takkan taw .. tapi tape, kini saye taw la tmpat saye :) deal? tenks ya for all those precious moments we spent together .. tho its just for a short period of time still .. good to know you ;)

hurmm .. in my previous post, i did mention about me being so tired of all the things that happened and now idk why .. its getting even way far from what i expected; i mean the tiredness T.T demm ..
too many things yet so little time .. nyway .. hahahaha on monday aritu chewah2 haha
saye telah spent whole day dgn mr. woobie ..lagikk hahaha :D ehh ad hal oke die dtg pon :p p putrajaya sbb ad hal nk kene settle .. and so here the story goes ;)

pagi itu p putrajaya . sampai sane trus p amek bende2 mR.woobie . then went to alamanda . makan2 time. then jalan2 sat . pastu tbe2 nak p tgk his dad kt cheras sbb die baru je kua hospital . then sembang2 jap ap sume kt sane . selepas itu trus pule drive ke uma aunty die . oke, aku blaja wat bahulu oren kaseh sayang haha ehh jadik oke! hahaha tapiii mR.woobie ni xhabes2 komplen aje kejenye . tapi mkn tetap :)
then dinner pule kemudian baru la he sent me back to upm . and as usual . hurmm 
been missing him all over again (okee kau mengade! tiap minggu dtg,xckup?)
oke .. itu indah kan? i mean xd gado2 .. now the gado part :p

haa .. time kt cheras,aku tnye bout all those gurls in his life yg pnah n yg bru die nk contact or wut so eva la kann .. n he said 
"DA TAKDE DA .. SUME DA SETTLE DA, JANJI TAKDE APE2 LAGI DA PASNI.. DA TAKDE ORG KCAW DA"
 so? any say? xpe2 .. aku jawab sendiri . dgn hati terbuka aku percaya as sifu aku cakap kene percaya kat die sbb die da janji xwat lagi n so i believe him :)
and hopefully yg lepas tu let it be that and only that T.T
(ehh xgado sgt ea? haa .. klw ad vid aku hupload da kasik tgk .. hahaha ) 

enche .. saye da penat da nak pk mcm2 .. ckup2 la segale d cni .. saye penat da ..
sile jgn kasik saye sakit hati dan dgn tololnye enche tipu saye ..
saye da pecayekan enche nii .. 
(haa mahap le, ak mang bengap edit2 haha) 

mine



hopefully our plan will be according to what we have planned . amin :) 
ilysm enche ahmad rizuan 
-mira mustaffa- 

Feb 28, 2011

penat .

aku taw past is past n yg pnting skrang ..tapi aku ni tetap manusie biase n bear in mind aku pompuan .. salah ke aku klw ad cket doubt kt kau? bkan aku tlalu nak pertikaikan 'loyalty' kau tu tapii ..sndri mau igt sbb sape yg wt aku rase mcm ni? awal2 lagi aku da penah ckap BE HONEST ! jgn sesekali kau crik psal dgn aku lagikk dgn kau mnipu aku .. aku benci .. aku benci time kau mnipu .. dan org yg tlibat dgn pnipuan tu .. sape2 yg trase tu,yes kau! kau laa! tayah sebok2 pndang kri kanan.. kau yg aku benci sgt! da awal2 kau ckap dgn aku kau da xde ape2 dgn die,tp knape? kau gatal sgt col die lagikk? kau miang? pk2 laa sndri prasaan org laen ..oke? ehh aku ni bkan la saje nk crite hal rumah tangge dan crite dlm kaen aku kt org lua tpi,dah klw aku nk try slowtalk pon payah ..this is the onle medium yg ade la ..maaf klw ad sape2 yg tasuke dgn ape yg ak ckapkan ..atau ad sape2 yg trase hati,tapi i believe that in Malaysia, we have the right to voice out whatever that we think in need.. jadik,salah ke? x kan? yes ..thanks sbb mengiakan ape yg aku ckap :)
ehh ..ntahhlaa ..smpai bile ..aku da try utk jadik sepositive habes,sgale mcm bnde da aku wt utk pk positve psal kau.. tapi kau? tiap kali dgn aku,ade aje perkare pelik terjadi? WTF? WTH? kau igt aku ni ap? patung bodo yg slamenye diam dan xbckap ape2 kalaupun bnde tu da terang2 ad dpan mate dan ianye berlaku btul2 dpan mate aku dan ketika itu fon kau kt tgn aku? kau nk kasik alasan ape? shut up! ta payah explain ..
sayang ..yes,aku sayang kau ..tpi kau?ikhlas ke stiap kali kau ckap sayang? knape kau masih dgn aku klw kbhagiaan yg kau nak tu ade dgn org laen kt lua sane? bkan aku xkasik kau kwn dgn org laen ..yes be it pmpuan skali pun sbb aku jugak kt sni ad kwn lelaki ..tp,kwn ape yg cal kau smpai 6-7 kali? kwan ap yg col pkul 1-2 am? utk ape? utk ape? utk ape? yes ..ta payah explain ..
dan utk wanita2 berkenaan .. ehh nti nk kawen kan? jage suami maseng2 .. takut nti jadik n kene kt btg hidung sndri ..skian .. ape? aku jahat mulut? mmg ..so? kau nk doakan aku xbhgia? silekan ..Tuhan xmkbulkan doa yg xbaikk :)
ehh mcam2 sgt da aku simpan sndri . sbb sikap yg suke bdiam diri dan bia org pijak kpale smpai buat aku jadik mcm ni. terus2an diperlakukan sebegini rupe . aku diam xbermakne aku bisu . aku senyum xbermakne aku gembire. aku ketawa xbermakne aku suke .dan aku menangis bukan brmaksud xberdaya.
cume ..
MALAS .
MALAS ..
malas utk amek kesah dan begado atas perkare2 yg remeh dan ntah hape2 .. kepale otak aku da ckup srabut pk kan segale hal yg da jadik kt aku. stress .aku stress . tension . org xfham .org xkan penah fham .dan kau? manusie yg aku rase bole fham aku pon,xamek pusing pasal hal aku . ye,kau pun ade msalah kau sndri.tp,klw aku ad utk kau stiap kali masalah tu serabutkan kau; mane kau bile aku nk mtak kau dga aku menangis? mana kau bile aku mtak kau dgar aku mengadu? suda . sampai bile .
tahap sabar aku ade batasnye . aku bukan setabah aisyah, sekuat fatimah dan semulia siti khadijah. tak ..aku manusie biase yg bole hlang kesbarannye walau dlm usaha utk sntiase bsabar. i've had enaf. selagi aku bole utk menguatkan diri dan trus mengingatkan diri bahawe kesudahan yg baek adalah utk manusie yg besabar; aku akan trus menerus sebegini. tapi ..
bile sampai tahap kesabaran aku itu semakin rapuh
bile sampai tahap kesabaran aku itu hampir hilang
bile sampai tahap kesabaran aku itu kian pudar
maafkan aku klw tpakse melakukan itu.
aku da ckup mkan hati. sampai bile? sampai bile? sampai bile?
kau ubah aku sampai aku jadik begini.
kau jadikan aku wanita penyabar yg dulunya panas baran dan cpat hlang kewarasan akal fikiran dgn melakukan sesuatu tanpa bfikir dahulu .. terlalu terburu2 ..
thanks .
tapi ..
yg kau ajarkan itu bakal memakan diri kau .diri aku .
kerana ape?
kerana sikap kau sendri yg suke buat xtahu .dgn beranggapan aku xbisa melawan .
xpe. aku oke .selagi mulut terdaya berkata oke .
aku oke . walau hati menafikan ape yg mulut tuturkan.
aku oke.
dan sentiase begitu.
aku oke.
walau hingga mata terpejam.
aku oke.
yes .
aku oke .
utk kau,teruskan sikap kau yg bgitu
selagi aku ada dpan mata,kau xkan bljar mghargai aku .
-aku- 
 

Feb 26, 2011

mR.woobie ;)

hahaha memandangkan sekian lame la kan x hupdate ini belog hahaha jdik d cni sye mydiekan bberapa soklan yg anda juge bole copy ye hahaha :D


nyway ..been spending past 3 days gn mR.woobie ..hehe mann ..
dgn mak babah skali .. dsamping uncle n aunty die dan jugekk adek2 die hahaha :D
hurmm ..ges wut .. it went well :)
ehh suda2 hahaha
meh2 tgk ap di bwah nii ..
:)




1. What was the highlight of your week?

- get my 'things' done n jmpe mR.woobie :)



2. Whose car were you in last?
- babah


3. When is the next time you will kiss someone?

-MAYBE next week :p



4. What color shirt are you wearing?
-pink :p


5. How long is your hair?
- shoulder length,or mybe longer haha


6. Are you good looking?

-am not :)

7. Last movie you watched?
-ntahh ..faster i ges ..wit my roomies :)


8. Who were you with?
- rite now? k.yusra :)


9. Last thing you ate?
- nasi ayam sweet sour hehe


10. Last thing you drank?
- nes ice .. mann!! incredibly deliii ..


11. When was the last time you had your heart broken?
- emm .. last 2 years i ges ?


12. Who came over last?
- ehh ..hehe mR.woobie :)


13. Are you happy right now?
- YUP ;)


14. What did you say last?
- hahaha muat ke?

15. Where is your phone?
-rite in front of me ..


16. What color are your eyes?
- black :)


17. Are you left-handed?
-nope ..right handed ..


18. Spell your name without vowels:
- st mrh mhd mstff

19. Do you have any pets?
-NO! hahaha saye takut bnatang hahaha

20. Favorite Vacation?
- emm ..


21. What do you dislike currently?
- hurmm .. that particular PONDAN! salu mnyorok bakang pompuan :) sekian!


22. What are you listening to?
- sound of the ceiling fan haha


23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
-flying to kepong and kiss my mR.woobie! demmmm .. bole x? hahaha


24. What is your favorite scent?
- babah's and mR.woobie's <3


25. Who makes you happiest?
- mR.woobie and of kos mak babah plus 3 musketeers hahaha

26. What were you doing at midnight last night?
- watching tv with mR.woobie at his uncle's


27. When is your birthday?
- 6th september 1989


28. Who has the same phone as you?
- ntahh ..ttaw la plax haha


29. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
- haa bbrape thun yg lalu hahaha


30. Do you read your horoscope?
- not anymore ..


31. Where was the last place you bought something?
- watson selayang mall


32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
- i hate it hahaha


33. Do you bite your nails?
- sumtimess yess ..


34. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
- nope


35. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
- nope!!!


36. Myspace or facebook?
- fb :) deleted my ms accnt

37. How fast have you driven a car?
- hahaha 140 kmph jee ..


38. Have you ever smoked?
-errrr ..


39. What was or is your favorite subject in school?
-english


40. Do you have Verizon?
- come again?? hahahaha :p


41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
- bad boy .. hahaha mR.woobie will always be the one :)


42. Do you have any hidden talents?
- i can sing i can cook hahaha


43. Favorite Song?
- i live my life for you by firehouse


44. Do you like to sing at all?
- yup3 hehehe of kosss laa kann hahahaha


45. Dream Job?
- an officer at any gov dept hahahaha :D


46. Where does most of your family live?
- perak i ges


47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
- only daughter wit three craziest buddies ever hehe


48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
- urmm ..sumtimes i ges ..hahaha


49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
- what? can it b who? hahaha mR.woobie will b for who ..as for what is betape mlasnye ak nk ke clas mann!!!


50. Do you drink?
- yes .. nescafe hahaha


51. Know any other languages?
- french and arabic :)


52. Ever write a coded message?
- naaaahhh hahahaha :D


53. Have you ever been IN a wedding?
- u mean? da penah kawen ke? hahaha :D i take it as a yes la ea,since u that IN words is in capital letter hehe so, not yet :p


54. Do you have any children?
- yes hahaha


55. Did you take a nap today?
- nap? yes a 5 hours nap hahaha :D


56. Who has the same birthday as you?
- my ex-skulmate .. nur hana sabri


57. Ever met anyone famous before?
- alaa few singers and actors and actresses


58. Do you want to be famous one day?
- haha yes :)


59. Any Pet Peeves?
- come again?


60. Are you multitasking right now?
- yes .. i can sing while typing .. i can talking while sms-ing hahaha


61. Do you like Britany Spears?
- NOPE!


62. What is your least favorite chore?
- hahaha basuh baju!!! demm .. lipat baju tape hehe tp kdang mlas jgak .. da klw bju smpai berbakol2 .. hamekk kau!! mang sengal la pnggang ak nk lipat byk2 hahahaha :D


63. Last place you drove your car?
- shalam ..


64. Ever been out of the country?
- not yet ..soon :)


65. Where were you born?
- hospital besar ipoh,perak hehe


66. Could you handle being in the military?
- yes i ges ..alaa plkn pon cm army la jgak kan hehe


67. What is your average cell phone bill?
- haa nk kre ke? hahaha klw shari sploh hengget? sbulann? 30 hati kan soo kre sndri laa hahaha


68. Who are you thinking about right now?
-mR.woobie n org2 di umah T_T


69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
- just now hahaha tgk penguin mesia hahahaha


70. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
- 5 pairs :)


71. Are your toes always painted?
-nope ..


72. How many piercings do you have?
- 4 ..


73. What are you doing today?
- hurmm ..spending half of my day wit mR.woobie then ..here i am back in upm again heshh


74. Have you ever been gambling?
- no .


75. When is the last time you updated your page?
- ntahh .. last wik i ges??


76. Do you like rollercoasters?
- as if kopok rollercoaster? yess hahahaha


77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world?
- not yett ..


78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
- spongebob hehe


79. Last thing you cooked?
- hurmm ..ntahh .. ap eakk .. lupe da hahahaha


80. How's the weather?
- dingin


81. Do you e-mail?
- yup :) i doo .. hee


82. What's the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
- dlu la kann .. fon dlu hehe penah baling ke dinding hahaha too mad at mR.woobie hahaha bodo kann :p


83. Last time you were sick?
- sekarang .


84. What states have you lived in?
- perak and malacca


85. Do you wish you could move?
- no :) happy wit whre i live rite now :)


86. Do you take all the QuizPox.com quizzes?
- nooo..


87. What is your dream car?
- nothing in mind yet hahaha


88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have?
- yes ..once ..dlu ..bfore i met mR.woobie


89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
- rite beside mR.woobie


90. Are you happy with your life?
- yes ..as he lives here ..inside me :)


enche ..ilysm <3 need u by my side ..
ILYSM !!!! IMYSM!!!!! sob sob sob 




happiness will come and sit softly on your shoulder once you stop chasing it .
-mira mustaffa- 
 

Feb 18, 2011

plain

           one .. two .. three .. lalala .. hurmm .. 

Love is a very divine things that will happened to every living things in this world; especially us which is the love between the mankind. There are lots of stories that can be heard when it comes to love. So, here I will now reveal the story of me and my love one. It might not be special to you or even anyone else but it is precious to me. Okay, here is how it began.
I was born in Perak, I lived there for only 6 years before I had been transferred to Malacca to live with my grandparents. I spent most of my days and years in Malacca staying with them. Until I reached the age of twenty, my father who is a teacher has been asked to move to Perak and work there. That is the moment when my life has actually fated to turn this way. After two weeks I stayed in my grandmother’s house in Kg. Air Panas; a very small kampung in a very small area in Gerik, Perak; I met him. I know he is no superman, no Mr. Perfect and no Mr. Knows-Everything.  He is just an ordinary guy that I met and I fall in love with. He has nothing if I were to compare him with anyone else's love of the life. I know he always be the laughing stock of all my friends because he is just an ordinary guy with no educational background like theirs and he has no large amount of money to buy me things like theirs did and I know they were actually make a fool out of his work; he is just a guy that do business in ‘Pasar Malam’. But then there is something about him that makes him very special to me and he is my one of a kind type of boy. To be honest, at the first stage of our relationship, I actually expect nothing from him as I always think that I can get someone way better than him; but then after day by day and time passes by my love for him grow even deeper and stronger. I have started to ‘search’ for him if he is not texting or calling me. I will started be extra worried whenever he is doing his job because he can always find someone else too that can 24/7 be around him. We are one of the million couples who experienced the long distance relationship.
            The first time I met him, I thought he was younger than me because he is smaller than me as I am kind of plus-size. It was in his lot where he does his job when he intentionally followed me from behind just to get a chance to say hi to me and asked for my phone number. Surprisingly, I didn’t even bother because I am afraid that he might want to rob me or whatever that a guy can do towards a girl – not to say I am being prejudice because he came from ‘that’ place. Until at one point I really felt insecure when he kept following me no matter where I go, I stopped and ask him what did he wanted from me and he said he just wanted to know me and that’s it. He insisted to have my phone number and I gave him mine. From that moment we had been texting each other and call each other for almost every day until he said that he felt like we can make it to the next level. After all the thinking and asking for opinion process had been done, I called him and say yes. At that very moment I was hoping for him to really turn out and be somebody that I can respect and love with all my heart. I know how important the educational background of a guy is a very important subject to both my mum and my dad and I know very well how my mum really pay more attention on his family background and what he did for living and how  much he earn; but then I always believe that everything that we have in this world really came from Him. I know I am not being rationale here but then try to think about it even further, it is the fact that all of us should know. 
            What makes him very special to me is because he always teaches me things that I cannot get from the books, things that I cannot get from the class, things that cannot be browse from the internet solely. He teaches me things that he learned from his own life, his own hardship to survive in this world and how he manages to take care of his brothers. Though he is the third out of ten, still he is the one that have to do everything because his older brother always have that couldn’t care less attitude. That is the thing that I always adore because he is very responsible and I know he can be a good father to my children and he can be my guidance. There are few things that the two of us need to brush up on in order for us to make things work and be even happier in the future and we are moving towards that thing. I always asked my mother upon her opinion about him, being a mother she always said that if I am happy it means her happiness as well but I know deep down inside her she was expecting someone else. That is the reason I am trying hard and actually me and him, we are trying hard to prove her that it’s the other way round.
            So, no matter what others said about him, no matter what people might think about him, others perception about me being with him and many more; I will still love him until the end of time. This is no fairy tale, no Cinderella, no Snow White, no Rapunzel; this is my story with an ordinary boy living an ordinary life with a very extra ordinary love life. Might sound cliché and it is so not be in a real world but then this is my story and him. Feel free to be our judges and charge us if any of you find us guilty for having each other as our soul-mate. I shall plead on behalf of him and I know he will definitely do so on behalf of me. Do pray for us so that we can stay even stronger and longer.